Public Forum Proceed to Auspet's New Discussion Forum | Pet Directory | Classifieds | Home | LinkXchange


Click here to make Auspet.com your default home page

  Auspet - Message Boards
  General -
  POSITION: Mother, Mum, Mama

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq | search

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   POSITION: Mother, Mum, Mama
Albert
Member

Posts: 160
From:Sydney
Registered: Oct 2002

posted 02-11-2003 07:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Albert     Edit/Delete Message
POSITION: Mother, Mum, Mama

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organisational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organise social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.


POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.


WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the mums you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated.

IP: Logged

ignergehl
Member

Posts: 174
From:arlington,TX u.s.a.
Registered: Oct 2003

posted 10-24-2003 06:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ignergehl     Edit/Delete Message
You know what?Albert you ROCK!you need to take some of that whit and insight onto the pitbull page and give some of those knownothing-knowitalls a severe mental trouncing!Keep up the funny stuff,I dont know where you get it but,I love it!

IP: Logged

All times are ET (US)

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Auspet.com


Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.45c
















© 1999-2017 AusPet.com