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posted 02-09-2004 06:05 PM         

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I have two male neutered cats. One is 3 (he's a white main coon cross named Gabriel) years old and the other is 2(black main coon cross named Zeram... he's Gabriel's younger brother). The two boys tolerated each other but didn't particularly like each other. 4 months ago I adoped an 8 week old female kitten (white shorthair named Lilu). At first she hissed back and forth with both of them, but in a few days Lily and Gabriel got along fine. They have a big brother little sister relationship and they pound each other but Gabriel is VERY gentle and dosn't use his claws (he gets hurt more then then Lilu). Zeram has never adjusted to the kitten. I live 2 doors down from my parents house (where the older kitties used to live) so the cats both come back and forth (my parents have a cat door and I don't and neither of us mind so it works out pretty good) but Zeram has just moved in there. Every time I bring him to my house he starts hissing and growling and me and Lilu (which is REALLY WEIRD for him since he never hisses or growls at anything). The last time I brought Zeram home Gabriel attacked him and chased him around the house. Now what i'm wondering is if there is ANYTHING I can do to get Zeram to come home and have everyone get along a little better?? Lilu has never bothered Zeram she just runs and hides and is usually on the other side of the room from him or farther when he's here. I give Zeram as much attention as I can (and my mom spoils him and Gabriel rotten) but it's hard when he won't come home! I miss my kitty and any advice or sugjestions would be greatly apreciated.

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From:CA
Registered: Nov 2003

posted 02-09-2004 10:53 PM         

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Hello. Does Zeram ever growl or hiss when he's at your parents house? For instance if your parents where to pet him or pick him up (just to hold him) would he ever growl or hiss at them? The reason I'm asking is that when a cat is in pain, due to some kind of medical problem they can be very grumpy.

If not he may just prefer to be at your parents' house. Perhaps he considers that his home. If it were my kitty I would first take him to the vet to rule out any possible health problems . If everything then looks okay, I would let him choose where he wants to live. If he wants to be with your parents and they are okay with this, then let him. When we love an animal or person we sometimes have to make decisions that are best for them but not for us. You may be sad that he wants to be there, but he will be happy.

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posted 02-10-2004 12:14 AM         

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He's not in pain... he's quite happy at my parents house. He always follows me down to my house outside like he wants to come in but then dosn't. I've noticed him spraying in my yard and the neibours yard wich seems odd because he's never done that before.

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From:CA
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posted 02-10-2004 05:58 PM         

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Hello. I'm glad he's not in any pain. Maybe letting him live with your parents isn't such a bad idea. As you mentioned he seems happy there. He obviously loves you too, or he wouldn't go back and forth. Perhaps he can have two homes? I'd like to know what others here think about this situation.

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From:Canada
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posted 02-10-2004 09:06 PM         

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2 males, one female (young one at that) .. and the female would not be fixed yet either. *males sense that hormonal call in the females. females can get pregnant from 6 months and up (Lilu is 8 wks old, and growing and body changing)*

I say it is a territorial claim that is happening and Gabriel is the dominate one. Gabriel now allows Lilu, since she is female, into the territory and pushes Zeram out of it ... to have Lilu to himself without the threat from Zeram. Of course Zeram is going to go where he can stake his own territory, down the street at the parent's home

Hard to believe at times, but yes domestic cats do act like their big wild cat cousins in nature. When they can do it, they will push another male out to lay claim to the female now in their territory.

Gabriel and Zeram are still young cats too, 3 and 2 yrs old. Sounds like your typical boy meets girl and boy rids of other boy threat, syndrome / LOL

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posted 02-10-2004 09:42 PM         

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The boysare both neutered. Lilu is 5 months old now. Gabriel and Zeram have only been inside once or twice sice the kitten came home. Do you think it might get better once she's neutered? She's getting it done next month. Gabriel spends most of his daytime hours at my parents house too... They get along no problems there. Gabriel is deffinatly the dominant male... they got along horrible untill they dicided that (neither of them are really alpha males and they were kindof akward at first because they couldn't decide what to do about each other). They still get jelose of each other though.

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From:charleston WV USA
Registered: Feb 2004

posted 02-10-2004 10:01 PM         

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Even though both of your male cats are neutured, they may still respond to certain male instincts.
It also sounds like they are jealous and being territorial. We have rescued kittens/cats before and dealt with this problem. The last cat we rescued was a 10 month old female. She was spayed before we brought her home. I have 4 males which have all been neutered, and one other female that has yet to be spayed.
At first, Annie (the new cat) hissed at the others. I don't think that she was used to the company of other cats. This did not help her to win over the other cats who ignored her and avoided her and occassionally picked on her (chased her). My other female (whom we rescued at 4 days old and hand raised), has had the most difficult time in accepting Annie. I think that she feels threatened and jealous of her presence.
Slowly, Annie is fitting in. She is happy and easy going, for her part. Though she is still on the bottom of the hierarchy, the other cats have been slowly warming up to her. Now, occassionally my males will lick her or play with her. My other girl (my baby) will occassionally play with her. It seems as if she is slowly discovering that Annie is not a threat to her and that she can be fun sometimes. I have been making sure that my other cats get plenty of attention, and that I show affection for Annie in front of them. If they appear jealous, I turn my attention to them and try to make them feel at ease and loved. ie. soft talking and petting.
It takes a while, and some intervention...Going out of your way to show your cat that he is still an integral part of the household is important. You probably feel like you've been doing this, but maybe he is not receiving the signals. Try different methods, such as giving him special treats when he is in the same room with her and behaving well. Having her spayed may also help, though it will probably not eliminate the problem completely. Asking your vet for input can be helpful - or your local humane association.

Good luck.

Maggie

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posted 02-11-2004 02:25 PM         

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Hmm... I have been trying to give them all attention and give Zeram extra cuddles. I can't manage to keep him inside long enough to realize that lilu might be ok. When I get him inside I usually give him his favorite food and some kitty treats which he will eat between growls, but after that he just wont start growling and will meow at the door (which i've taught them to do when they want out) I just don't want to make him stay when he's so unhappy.

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