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Author Topic:   why can't they be friends??
dolly
Member

Posts: 84
From:Ontario Canada
Registered: Nov 2003

posted 12-07-2003 06:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for dolly     Edit/Delete Message
I am almost at my wits end over my two cats. Two months ago I got a 2-y.o. male (neutered) and my 12-y.o. female (spayed) absolutely hates him. (I had another male who died so she is used to other cats, although she didn't like him too much either). I have done all the recommended things like rubbing them with towels, feeding them on opposite sides of the door, etc., but she still hisses and growls like crazy whenever she sees him. We keep them separated so they can't get at one another. They were loose together once early on and he jumped on her and the only close contact they have had since has been with him on a harness. She runs and hides every time she sees him. He has never hissed and just sits there looking at her while she is hissing, he seems to have got the message and doesn't even try to come near her. I am beginning to think that she will never stop this as she doesn't give him a chance and hides whenever he's near. I don't know what to do, I would be happy if they could at least tolerate one another, I don't expect them to be friends. I've thought of putting her in the carrier and letting him come up to her so that she can see he's not a monster. Would that be too much for her? I've also thought of getting a kitten as well as he seems to want company and this might take the pressure off her and she wouldn't see a kitten as so much of a treat. Sorry for the long message but this is really starting to wear me out.

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Katerina
Member

Posts: 145
From:Toronto, Canada
Registered: Nov 2003

posted 12-07-2003 08:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Katerina     Edit/Delete Message
when my mom introduced a new cat named buddy (2yrs) to my old cat willy (14yr) they did pretty much what you described for almost 5mths, but now they will even play with each other.

I don't think putting her in the carrier is a good idea, it might make her feel defenseless since she has no where to go, but I'm not an expert at these things.

Don't give up hope. They will most likely eventually tolerate each other.

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nern

Moderator

Posts: 1591
From:NY, USA
Registered: Oct 2002

posted 12-07-2003 08:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for nern     Edit/Delete Message
Don't give up hope....I think over time they will be able to at least tolerate each other. There was another member not too long ago having problems with her 2 cats getting along and it took quite a while but they are now getting along great. Generally, the older the animal...the longer the adjustment period.
IMO, I think putting her in a crate and forcing her to face him might be a bit too much for her especially if she is already stressed over his arrival. How about crating him and allowing her to get used to him that way at her own pace?

[This message has been edited by nern (edited 12-07-2003).]

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fleafly
Member

Posts: 996
From:sheridan, wy
Registered: Aug 2003

posted 12-07-2003 12:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fleafly     Edit/Delete Message
I agree with crating him so she can check him out.

I think animals are like people, some people just don't like each other. My mom's dog gets along with every dog except this one that comes to the park. As soon as they see each other they start growling.

More likely than not they will get used to each other. They may have to learn to live together and avoid each other, which shouldn't be that hard to do.

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dolly
Member

Posts: 84
From:Ontario Canada
Registered: Nov 2003

posted 12-07-2003 05:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dolly     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks for the input, I guess I will just have to give them more time. It's encouraging to know that they could get along eventually. I have ben putting him in the crate and she will eat nearby but when she's finished eating she just runs away.

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MaydaysMom
Member

Posts: 260
From:MO, USA
Registered: Nov 2003

posted 12-08-2003 07:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MaydaysMom     Edit/Delete Message
I would try crating both cats for interval amounts of time. That way your not creating any jealousy problems. That could make the other cat feel like it is being punished with the interaction of being investigated.
If you are going to use this method I would crate both cats so that they are facing each other with atleast 1-3 feet apart. I would do this until you hear no growling, hissing or complaints about each other.

I would still keep them seperated from each other in different rooms.

Once they are compliant with being that close to each other with no arguments I would PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE. Give them each a treat and then put them in seperate areas.

I suggest 15-20 minutes a day twice a day.

As they grow more tolerant of being 1-3 feet away from each other in the kennels I would gradually decrease the amount of space bt the carriers until they are face to face with each other with no arguments.

All the while still keeping them seperate.

Once they have accomplished tolerating being that close to each other, I would reintroduce them once again in the most neutral spot in the house. Away from food bowls and litter boxes.

Good luck if you do try this let me know how it works. Ive made this suggestion to another family who was fostering a pretty difficult cat and it seemed to work pretty well.

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