posted 11-20-2003 04:17 PM         

Nala is driving me nuts with the nipping at me. She goes insane and jumps at me and nips me and it's hard to catch her and make her sit down and get back under control. It's probably my fault for not having the time to continue her training.

She also will not leave the cats alone. The whole afternoon is a constant struggle with them trying to get to a safe place and her chasing them, and me trying to make her stop, and the cats knocking stuff over trying to get away.

My husband, in all seriousness today, told me that he knows Nala is not what i was looking for in a dog, and so it is okay if I want to get a different dog. Suspecting he didn't mean a second dog, I asked him to clarify and sure enough, he was giving me permission to find her a new home and pick a new dog.

I haven't stopped crying since. He is right, loathe as I am to admit it. She is not at all what I was looking for in a dog. I did careful research and honestly evaluated our situation....and then I threw it all out the window at the shelter. I should not have picked out a puppy without my husband being with me to help me not get confused. I should not have picked out a puppy at all, because it is too hard to tell what they will be like grown up. I intended to get an adult dog to begin with, but HE said we should get a puppy.

But I love Nala. It tears my heart apart to think of her in a new home, wondering where we are and why she is not with us. Then again, knowing her maybe she would not notice as long as they were nice. Maybe she would even like it better. I don't know.

But I would feel like I was abandoning her. I don't think I could do it any more than I could have put my kids in daycare when they were small, no matter how difficult it was for me to be home with them for all those years.

On the third hand, I was totally miserable for all those years, and I really don't want to do that again. But on the fourth hand, Nala will calm down. Probably. And I need to work with her more. And I haven't tried a remote training collar yet.

As you can see, I am confused. I wish I had done it right to begin with. My husband likes her (except when he is mad at her). He thinks she is fine. My daughter would rather a smaller, lap dog. My son seems pretty indifferent. I love her, and I don't want to abandon her, although of course I would find her a very good home to go to or I wouldn't let her go.

What do I do? She's my baby. Is it better for her to stay, or to go? Is it better for me to keep her, or let her go?

Do you think a second dog would help, or make it worse? Would another dog give her an outlet and lessen the load on me? Or would it just be double the trouble? Not a puppy - an adult, preferably with obedience training.

Jamiya

posted 11-20-2003 04:55 PM         

But despite that I know he loves me dearly and I think he does the jumping thing because he thinks he is my playmate, he jumps at me like he does the other dogs he plays with. Even though, in all the situations we are in I practice nothing in life is free so I can show him who is boss. But with no kids yet he's my baby, I can't stay mad at him for long. He is my constant companion, always follows me around and greats me SOOO excitedly when I come home. I love that I FINALLY convinced my husband to let him on the couch in the family room so everynight Max and I can cuddle on the couch. I love that time a day!

But I digress, I think that no matter what type of dog you get you might have the problem with the cats. I might be wrong here I guess. Also, if you get another dog make sure you are positive Nala and that dog would get along or else you'll double your trouble. Most dogs that Max comes in contact with are over 2 years and they want nothing to do with Max. He has too much energy for him and they just bark at him. Only the 1 year old next door will actually play with him enough to get his energy out.

I don't think we can decide for you as I'm sure you know. But I can say this...You don't want to be miserable in your life, it's too short. As long as you find Nala a good home you are not doing her any harm. Take a couple days and really think about the situation you are in. Do you really think a different dog will be any better? Will another dog make things easier or harder?

Good luck in whatever you decide I feel sad that you are in this situation and commend you for being honest with us.

Smiles...

posted 11-20-2003 05:24 PM         

I have taken her to obedience class, and frankly I do better with her on my own. There's only so much you can do in an hour class, and an untrained dog is so distracted they don't learn much. The real work takes place at home.

She knows sit, stay, down. She should know off, leave it, no bite since she hears them all the time.

I have done EVERYTHING that anyone has suggested and nothing has curbed her "normal puppy behavior" of nipping. She is about 6 months old and you would have to see what she does to equate it to "normal puppy behavior." I can't lie down on the couch because she will bite my face. EVERY time she does it, she gets a firm NO BITE, she gets put in a sit or a down. And then she does it again.

I am with her all afternoon and all evening. I walk with her, play with her, sit out back with her. She doesn't cuddle - she bites.

So don't try to tell me I have not spent enough time with this dog or I have not tried to train her. I know plenty of people who have done a lot less with their dogs and they behave much better. No, I have not had time to proof her on her stays and I have not taught her heel because frankly I don't really care if she ever heels. She does know "slow" which I use on walks to stop her from pulling.

She is a very stubborn dog. She does not care about pleasing us. She works for food. She is extremely active. She rips clothes and bites hands, arms, faces, ears, chins, noses, calves, knees - you name it, she has bitten it. She does it to get attention, the same as going on the furniture if I walk out of the room.

I am a captive in the family room, where she is confined. I do everything in the family room. If I tether her to me, she bites at the leash or chews on anything she can reach, no matter how short the tether. There are many things I have not been able to do with my kids since we got her. I can't get to a store or even get my car tuned up because I won't crate her again after I get home from work and she can't be left alone.

So please, don't try to make me out as not having time for her. And don't give me this "you shouldn't get a second dog if you can't handle one." She is NOT a typical dog. I have had dogs before and my sister has three dogs and she has NEVER seen a dog behave like this before.

Nala is a very good dog, when she is behaving. And when she is not, she is a holy terror. There is no middle ground.

posted 11-20-2003 06:28 PM         

But honey, if you know for sure that you can give nala a good home away from you, please don't feel guilty about it. As hard as that may (will) be. It is so obvious that you love that dog, and only want what is best for it. (and for your family) I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time of it. "Senario" if you give Nala to a good home, will you be able to visit? that might make it a bit easier.