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Posted by Topic subject:   Help! Lonely Dobie- Need Advice!
cybbogirl
New Member

Posts: 2
From:barrington, IL
Registered: Oct 2003

posted 10-23-2003 06:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cybbogirl     Edit/Delete Message
hello all,
i was hoping to find some info./ support on this site. here is the story: i have a beautiful and loving 8 year old doberman. he use to live with my family and i at our old house where he was allowed inside. eversince we moved about 6 years ago, the family decided to put him in the basement because my mother developed severe asthma and could not be around dogs. after being in school i came back home to the realizatioon that my dog craved company EXTREMELY bad. in the eyes of experts who have seen him, they believe the dog seems to be very happy (which he does appear)--however, i cannot seem to cope with the idea that the dog, bruno, craves socialization. for the last year or so i have been taking him out on long walks of about 3 miles each day. as much as i can i also take bruno with me on car trips from 2-4 times a week. he is extremely joyful when we are together and will literally wait at the basement door for me to come home. the problem now is that after i get him and we walk and play or go on a drive, upon putting him back down he cries and whimpers and waits at the door like he cannot let me go. needless to say this tears my heart out because i want to keep him loved and not lonely. but alas, i live in an environment that will not allow his presence. the basement is heated and clean (though he does pee a lot still) and he is fed and given fresh water daily (including my walks/car trips). evenstill, our outings only relieve him for at 2 hours the most and then he is back all alone for another 22 hours of the day. he does go outside, yes. but i cannot shake the message he gives to me that he is wanting so badly the company of others.
i am asking that someone please give me advice on this matter! as i do not know what to do anymore.
common answers here have been: why dont you move downstairs? but the basement is not finished and serves mainly as storage (though quite spacious). some have also asked: why dont you give the dobie to a rescue to place him in a better home? but i cannot because it is my parents dog and i have been forbidden as i did indeed ask.
so basically, i am at a loss. i have not been able to sleep much because when im not with him i feel a trememndous guilt that he is so lonely (as he cries and whimpers at the mere sound of my voice in the house, but is fine after a little bit). but evenstill, i feel it dragging on me because i am in such a helpless situation and just cannot shake the fact and advice from my family that "he is happy and is just a dog and that i am acting totally crazy treating his feelings as a persons". right now i have little money so cannot afford a daycare. i have no other options. the only thing i was thinking is to get another dog for him to keep him company. some say this is a bad idea, others say it is good. i just need something at this point because the anxiety has been going on now for two months and i cannot seem to feel okay despite people telling me im over-reacting.

any suggestions or am i just crazy?? PLEASE HELLP!!!

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honeybear
Member

Posts: 373
From:
Registered: May 2003

posted 10-24-2003 08:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for honeybear     Edit/Delete Message
Cybbo girl - I would feel the same way as you do. You need to put your foot down with your parents and tell them how upsetting it is for you and explain the reasons you gave here. It is not fair for the poor dog to be locked in the basement most of its life - heated or not. You are doing the best you can by giving it walks etc - but your parents have to understand that keeping the dog the way they do is emotionally draining to both you and the dog and it would be much happier in a different environment. ie - as you suggested a dobie rescue or a new home. If they still refuse I would take the dog away and say its would I had to do! DO NOT GET ANOTHER DOG. you are just putting it the same condition as your dobie with no-one but yourself to give attention to, then you will feel bad for 2 dogs.

Honeybear

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Jamiya
Member

Posts: 501
From:
Registered: Sep 2003

posted 10-24-2003 08:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jamiya     Edit/Delete Message
My heart goes out to you. I don't think you are crazy, but unfortunately I don't have a solution for you.

Is there ANY way you can make the basement habitable for yourself? Or move somewhere that you can take the dog?

Why do your parents want to keep the dog if they never interact with him? Have you asked them to look at it objectively - do they EVER spend time with him, and if not why bother with the cost of keeping him?

I applaud the time you are spending with him. Another dog may help - or you may just end up with 2 lonely dogs. At least they would have each other, but most dogs really crave human companionship.

I'm sorry I can't offer any more useful advice. It's a tough situation.


Jamiya

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Maisey
Member

Posts: 585
From:Portland, Oregon US
Registered: Sep 2003

posted 10-24-2003 09:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Maisey     Edit/Delete Message
I feel the same about what was posted above, it would be ideal if you could move into the basement with him but if thats not possible I really think you are right, he does deserve a better life even if it is in another home. I definately would not get another dog, it would be totally unfair. Getting one dog to try to help another with it's miserable situaution will only = two miserable dogs. You said you couldn't afford daycare and I know this may be a really far fetched idea but perhaps you have a dog loving neighbor who is at home during the day and would be willing to take him in a couple days a week without charging you. Maybe a neighbor who jogs or walks everyday would be willing to take him along, or someone who can't have a dog of their own would be willing to take him out for play and attention. You could post a flyer at PetsMart or Petco, vets offices etc. with a brief explanation, asking for someone who is willing to share some companion time with him. I have several friends that have dogs and we take turns with Playdates for the dogs. With one of them we do it two days a week, she picks up my dogs one day a week and takes them to her house, and I do the same the second day. Maybe someone else out there has only one dog and would love to have another for playdates for their dog but can't get another dog on a permanent basis. If you explained the situation, you might be surprised at the response. I really feel for you and even more so for the dog, it's very sad that your parents can't see whats right here, keep talking to them about it, "the squeeky wheel gets the grease". Keep trying and best wishes, Maisey

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Karriesue
Member

Posts: 110
From:Nellis AFB, Nevada
Registered: Jun 2003

posted 10-24-2003 09:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Karriesue     Edit/Delete Message
How old are you?? How is the communication with your parents?? Are you in a situation that you can ask a vet to intervene and talk to your parents about this?? Do not under any circumstances get another dog!!You will end up with two lonely dogs who both crave for human companionship. I completely understand your feelings. I know you love your parents but this is a form of animal neglect and you are this dogs only hope for a happy life preferably away from your parents who don't seem to be thinking in this dogs best interest. I would take this dog away and give it to rescue or someone who will love it and take care of it in a way it deserves. You need to think of a way to get this dog into another home or in a rescue. Please keep us posted. Those of us here care.

[This message has been edited by Karriesue (edited 10-24-2003).]

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puttin510
Member

Posts: 839
From:,Calif. U.S.A.
Registered: Dec 2002

posted 10-24-2003 10:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for puttin510     Edit/Delete Message
This is just breaking my heart. Dogs are pack animals. They love to be with their pack wether it be canine or human. Is there some way that your dobe can turn up missing. You find a good home for him. He is soooo lonely. Its like he is in jail and he does not know what he did. I feel so bad for you. Keep telling your parents how you feel. If you have to break down crying in front of them do so. This dog needs a new life. He did nothing but love you all and he has been banned. I know you love this dobe with all your heart. If there is no way for you move down to the basement, make it your main mission to get that dog a new life because you care.

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Karriesue
Member

Posts: 110
From:Nellis AFB, Nevada
Registered: Jun 2003

posted 10-27-2003 12:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Karriesue     Edit/Delete Message
Cybbogirl, I hope that you are doing OK. Do you hav any news on Bruno? I hope that you are able to think of a way to help him find another home or into rescue.

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