A funny FWD I recieved........

[Chessmind]

SOCIALISM
>>> >>
>>> >>You have 2 cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You give one to your neighbour.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>COMMUNISM
>>> >>
>>> >>You have 2 cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>The State takes both and gives you some milk.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>FASCISM
>>> >>
>>> >>You have 2 cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>The State takes both and sells you some milk.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>NAZISM
>>> >>
>>> >>You have 2 cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>The State takes both and shoots you.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>BUREAUCRATISM
>>> >>
>>> >>You have 2 cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws
>>> >>the
>>> >>milk away.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
>>> >>
>>> >>You have two cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You sell one and buy a bull.
>>> >>
>>> >>Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You sell them and retire on the income.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
>>> >>
>>> >>You have two cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped
>>> >>dead.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
>>> >>
>>> >>You have two cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
>>> >>letters of
>>> >>credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
>>> >>debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get
>>> >>all
>>> >>four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary
>>> >>to a
>>> >>Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder
>>> >>who
>>> >>sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
>>> >>
>>> >>The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option
>>> >>on
>>> >>one more.
>>> >>
>>> >>You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
>>> >>leaving
>>> >>you with nine cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>No balance sheet provided with the release.
>>> >>
>>> >>The public then buys your bull.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>A FRENCH CORPORATION
>>> >>
>>> >>You have two cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you
>>> >>want
>>> >>three cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>A JAPANESE CORPORATION
>>> >>
>>> >>You have two cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
>>> >>and
>>> >>produce twenty times the milk.
>>> >>
>>> >>You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and
>>> >>market
>>> >>it worldwide.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>A GERMAN CORPORATION
>>> >>
>>> >>You have two cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
>>> >>and
>>> >>milk themselves.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
>>> >>
>>> >>You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
>>> >>
>>> >>You decide to have lunch.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>>> >>
>>> >>You have two cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You count them and learn you have five cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>A SWISS CORPORATION
>>> >>
>>> >>You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
>>> >>
>>> >>You charge the owners for storing them.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>A CHINESE CORPORATION
>>> >>
>>> >>You have two cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You have 300 people milking them.
>>> >>
>>> >>You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
>>> >>productivity.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>AN INDIAN CORPORATION
>>> >>
>>> >>You have two cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You worship them.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>A BRITISH CORPORATION
>>> >>
>>> >>You have two cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>Both are mad.
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>AN IRAQI CORPORATION
>>> >>
>>> >>Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
>>> >>
>>> >>You tell them that you have none.
>>> >>
>>> >>No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh1t out of you and invade
>>> >>your
>>> >>country.
>>> >>
>>> >>You still have no cows, but at least now you are a Democracy.
>>> >>

[Auspetian]

Thanks Chessmind. That was hilarious.