Some funny women things

Chessmind · Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 2:43 am Post subject: Some funny women things

My wife's friend e-mail this to her and she then e-mailed it to me. Laughing

Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women
> Pregnancy Q & A & more!
>
> Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
> A: No, 35 children is enough.
>
> Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my
> baby move?
> A: With any luck, right after he finishes
> college.
>
> Q: What is the most reliable method to
> determine a baby's sex?
> A: Childbirth.
>
> Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so
> moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
> A: So what's your question?
>
> Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain
> I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
> A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might
> be called an air current.
>
> Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
> A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
>
> Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the
> delivery room while my wife is in labor?
> A: Not unless the word "alimony" means
> anything to you.
>
> Q: Is there anything I should avoid while
> recovering from childbirth?
> A: Yes, pregnancy.
>
> Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
> A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very
> quickly.
>
> Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my
> wife begin to feel and act normal again?
> A: When the kids are in college.
>
> "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
> 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
>
> 1. Everyone around you has an attitude
> problem.
> 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your
> cheese omelet.
> 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of
> your jeans.
> 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to
> everything you say.
> 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up
> every bumper sticker that says: "How's my
> driving-call 1- 800-".
> 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to
> batting practice.
> 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here
> from "outer space".
> 8 You can't believe they don't make a tampon
> bigger than Super Plus.
> 9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to
> drive you crazy.
> 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you
> bought it yesterday..
>
> TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
> 10. Cats' facial expressions.
> 9. The need for the same style of shoes in
> different colors.
> 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
> 7. Fat clothes.
> 6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat
> your best time.
> 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream,
> off-white, and eggshell.
> 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
> 3. Eyelash curlers.
> 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever
> made.
>
> AND, the Number One thing only women
> understand:
>
> 1. OTHER WOMEN

halaroo · Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:46 pm Post subject:

> TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
> 10. Cats' facial expressions.

LOL. I can totally read what my cats are feeling. My husband thinks I'm insane. Laughing

charmedagain · Moderator Joined: 19 Mar 2004 Posts: 2238 Location: uk

HAHAHAHAHAHA They are good.

I always try and stay out of the way when a female member of my family is pregnant, No offence to all you women out there but why do you all get so moody and everything us men say or do is totally wrong and your always right lol

Mike

vene · Super Senior Member Plus Joined: 25 Mar 2004 Posts: 4251

Lol. Are you expecting again Chessmind?

Chessmind · Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:37 am Post subject:

Vene...ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh.

vene · Super Senior Member Plus Joined: 25 Mar 2004 Posts: 4251

Many congrats! When is the new baby due?

halaroo · Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 6:31 pm Post subject:

Wow! Congratulations Chessmind!

Bente · Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:03 pm Post subject:

Congratulations Chessmind! Very Happy

Funny post btw Mr. Green

Chessmind · Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 2:02 am Post subject:

Thanks everyone. It was quite a surprise to say the least! For those of you that do not know, my wife and I have a beautiful little girl who is just about four months old. Well, my wife was on the pill and never missed a day, but she still got pregnant. Shocked

We are happy, but I know my wife wanted more time for her body to recuperate. Anyway her first OB appt. is on the 25th, so we will have more news then as to how our new baby is doing.

So, I won't name names, but how are the other pregnant moms doing here at Auspet? Wink

coppersmom · Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:36 pm Post subject:

Congratulations!!

halaroo · Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:42 pm Post subject:

charmedagain · Moderator Joined: 19 Mar 2004 Posts: 2238 Location: uk

Congratulations to chessmind and your wife. and halaroo.

I love babies but i wouldnt want one of my own.
Mind saying that i have always got all the pregnancy symptoms for my sisters and my mum i used to think there was something wrong with me but dr says because i am so close to them i get sympathy pains and stuff which i dont mind but when you get cravings and labour pains its awful if you ask me lol

Well anyway again congratulations Surprised

Chessmind · Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 3:07 am Post subject:

Thanks Coppersmom.

I'm glad you are doing well Halaroo. Yes, my wife also looked forward to simple things such as being able to tie her shoe laces, pick things off the floor, sleep on her stomach, and sleep longer periods without having to get up every hour to pee (9th month). I wish you continued good health to you and your baby. Having a baby is just the most wonderful thing imaginable. I couldn't imagine my life without my beautiful little girl. Mr. Green

Chessmind · Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 4:05 pm Post subject:

Thanks Charmedagain. Very Happy

Chessmind · Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 1:43 am Post subject:

Quick update. We went to the OB doctor today. Looks like my wife is about 8 weeks pregnant. Had an ultra sound done. Our tiny baby seems healthy and everything looks good.

After my wife delivered Kira on 9/2005 she weighed 137. She started Weight Watchers in December and is now 122 pounds. She was hoping her OB doctor would let her lose just a few more pounds before she started gaining in the 2nd and 3rd trimester (that way she would have less baby weight to try and lose after). He said no and that she needs to eat 2100 calories per day. He said it's very important for the baby's health. So now instead of having 20 weight watcher points per day she needs to eat 37 points. Very Happy

coppersmom · Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 3:27 am Post subject:

Yea! That's great!! Glad everything's going well.

Two in diapers plus formula?? Shocked

Whooo! If you charge as much as my dentist, well...shouldn't be a problem lol.

vene · Super Senior Member Plus Joined: 25 Mar 2004 Posts: 4251

Halaroo- Not too much longer now! Hang in there! BTW, we want tons of pics of the newborn!
Chessmind- Good to hear that everything is going well! Your the best

Chessmind · Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 5:09 pm Post subject:

LOL Coppersmom and Vene. Laughing

i_love_my_ollie · Member Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 212 Location: uk

cograts chessmind!! i work with children so I'm lucky to get the insight of them and can give them bk to get a good nites sleep!!lol!! i think all young ppl that want children at silly ages (IE in the UK 13yrs old) should work with me for a while that would teach them that although kid r great they r also hard work. I'm 23 and don't want ne of my own yet!!

Chessmind · Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 4:54 pm Post subject:

Thanks i_love_my_ollie. I agree. People should wait if possible before having kids. Have fun, travel the world, go to college (if this is an option). Then when you're ready to settle down, work on that. Very Happy